Momma Eli always has the best ideas. In chatting with her last night, she suggested I upload the formal letter I sent to the medical board of licensure in our state. So, here it is with identifying information of all parties blurted out (sorry everyone!). I hope this helps in formulating your own letter. There are more complaint and letter writing aids listed at the bottom of this post. As always, if you have questions, concerns or need some guidance, don't hesitate to write! **Triggering Post follows under the dividing line, read with caution if you feel you may trigger** You may already know my story. This is just an example for those who need to see an example of a formal complaint letter. This, by no means, is perfect. It is simply: Here is exactly what happened, who was there, who I spoke to, what actions I have taken and what troubles I have had since the event. Reading through this again, I wish I added more "I statements" throughout such as: I felt violated and/or disrespected. But, I am confident they get the point from this letter. My case is currently awaiting an investigator through the board so it can go through the hearing process. Complainant Information:
Momma Trauma's Real Name Here, mother & patient Phone Number Address City, State, Zip Email Address Respondent Information: Doctor's Name License Number Practicing OB's Office Name Business Phone Number Business Address Business City, State, Zip Date: March 30, 2011 Witnesses: Full Names of Momma Trauma's Husband and Doula This incident took place: Name of Hospital, City & State COMPLAINT: After laboring at home for some time on March 30, 2001, I (Momma Trauma) arrived at (Name, City, State of hospital) to deliver our daughter (Chickie Pea). My husband (Zombie Prep Dad) and my doula (To be nicknamed later) were both present for the entire course of events. When we arrived to the hospital, we went straight to the maternity ward reception desk. I was far enough along that my contractions were between 1 and 2 minutes apart. Despite this, I was taken to a triage room and separated from my husband and doula. My doula and I asked several times (while separated of course) as nicely as possible to have the two of them join me, but the nursing staff did not allow them to come back. It was not until after asking them a lot, each time getting progressively more and more upset, that my husband and doula finally were able to come back to me. I was contracting quickly and painfully (hence why I wanted my doula!) and did not consent to a vaginal exam until much pushing the issue by the nurses who said they absolutely could not take me back until they checked my cervix. The nurses checked my cervix in the triage room and stated what I could have told them already, “Well, there’s not much cervix left!” We all then went to a deliver room. Once in the delivery room, I was left to my own devices with my doula as wished and we labored until I was ready to push (not long at all). While I was laboring, my doctor asked if there was anything they should know prior to Delaney being born and I muttered that my son had shoulder dystocia when he was born. At that point, the nurses started buzzing around faster when my doula and I overheard (Insert Doctor's Full Name Here) tell them the shoulder dystocia was medically induced, which was my fear during the entire pregnancy (and what I had expressed to the doctors during prenatal appointments) and the reason we chose to labor at home as long as possible. When I was ready to finally deliver Delaney, I was helped onto the bed and before I had a chance to offer my consent, fetal monitors were strapped onto my stomach and my legs were thrown open. I had made it clear I did not wish to labor on my back, instead wanted to labor on hands and knees. I also repeatedly told the nurse I did not want the monitors but they remained even though I said no. Dr. Bovelsky took his position at the foot of the bed to catch the baby. Right before I began to push, he inserted his fingers into my vagina for an exam. I not only did not want this exam but I had refused this exam. I asked him several times, again each time getting more and more upset, to “Get your fingers out of my vagina.” My husband and doula were also telling him to stop and get out of me. Finally, after asking him at least five times to “Get out of my vagina,” he stopped what he was doing but his fingers remained inside me and motionless. When he stopped, he said “You do not have to speak to me or my staff like that.” I told him one more time, “Get your fingers out of my vagina,” and he finally did and backed away asking me “Do you want to do this?” I immediately began pushing Delaney out and she was delivered shortly after. One of the nurses quickly stabbed my leg with a shot of Pitocin which I, again, did not consent to and explicitly said I did not want. They did no explaining of the Pitocin until after the fact. I am well aware that it has now been roughly 18 months since this event occurred. Since the birth of my daughter, I filed a complaint with the hospital and spoke with the head doctor, (Insert name of head doctor here), at (Name of OB office & city) both in person and over the phone. The hospital refused to admit any guilt, understandably so. I felt as if my concerns and my birth experience didn't matter to them since both baby and I were healthy after birth. I spoke to both the head maternity ward nurse and the patients’ relations person. (Name of head doctor of OB office here) did understand where I was coming from and made it a point to let me know their practice does not condone doing anything to a woman, especially in her genital areas, which the woman had not previously consented to unless it was an emergency. Birth is not an emergency in most cases, and it was not so in mine. Since the birth of our daughter, I have also experienced symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder per my therapist who I was seeing regularly for several months after the birth. This event took tolls on my sex life with my husband for both he and I. For several months after the birth, I didn't want a lot to do with sex with him as it was a trigger and would remind me of what had taken place. I have had other triggers resulting from this event, as well, causing anxiety, depression and crying spells. No woman should ever be treated this poorly. Birth is a beautiful, magnificent process that a woman should be able to take on as her own as it is her body alone birthing that child. No means no. I will take this matter as high as I need to insure no woman goes through what I had to endure. Since I have already spoken to both the hospital and Dedicated to Women, I will forward this letter to them as well. I expect to hear back about this matter within 20 days of this letter. Sincerely, Momma Trauma's real name here Related Posts: I-Statements: Be heard in the professional world Decluttering birth trauma to understand your own story Does rape during childbirth make it not rape at all?
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July 2015
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